Once upon a time there was a peasant woman and a very wicked woman she was. And she died and did not leave a single good deed behind. The devils caught her and plunged her into the lake of fire. So her guardian angel stood and wondered what good deed of hers he could remember to tell to God; ‘She once pulled up an onion in her garden,’ said he, ‘and gave it to a beggar woman.’ And God answered: ‘You take that onion then, hold it out to her in the lake, and let her take hold and be pulled out. And if you can pull her out of the lake, let her come to Paradise, but if the onion breaks, then the woman must stay where she is.’ The angel ran to the woman and held out the onion to her. ‘Come,’ said he, ‘catch hold and I'll pull you out.’ And he began cautiously pulling her out. He had just pulled her right out, when the other sinners in the lake, seeing how she was being drawn out, began catching hold of her so as to be pulled out with her. But she was a very wicked woman and she began kicking them. ‘I'm to be pulled out, not you. It's my onion, not yours.’ As soon as she said that, the onion broke. And the woman fell into the lake and she is burning there to this day. So the angel wept and went away.The tale illustrates the failure of the peasant woman to learn the truth of pseudo-Orthodox Christianity. That is to say, Orthodox Christianity as Dostoevsky knew of it: a combination of (1) the Torah, (2) the Redacted Jewish Gospels ("RJG"), and (3) the Boy Rape Idolatry Club Stories ("BRICS").
The Torah forms the basis of the entire narrative of this new religion. It introduces the reader and/or worshiper to the deranged sky toddler, Yahweh, a jealous, myopic nincompoop who creates things in order to cause suffering and be worshiped for his greatness. The Torah outlines a religion in the style of its main character, being at once as deranged and purposeful as its emblem. It is selfish, self-contradictory, and violent; it is expansive, grandiose, neurotic, and suffers from low self-esteem, alternately praising and scorning itself. Perhaps most importantly, the Torah's religion is expressly Jenomic--genetically, ethnically, or racially exclusive, as you prefer--limiting its impact to those who have been blessed with its legacy. The Torah establishes a caste system between the descendants of various of Adam's children, which is useful for the "in" group of Jihading Jews (who are commanded to lie, cheat, steal, manipulate, and slaughter the rest of the world), but which is terrible advertising for gaining converts, since one cannot select one's genetics subsequent to birth.
As a manifesto for thousands of years of cunning murder, the Torah succeeds. It's a kindergarten-level version of The Prince and The Art of War, limited in scope to the Chosen. If the initial Jenomic assault should fail, though, and Earth prove resistant to the infestation, the Torah must be politely sidelined, or else the audience will realize what the magician is doing.
Subsequent to this "Old Testament" come the RJGs. These sanitized gospels introduce a new character, Jesus: a hippie mystic with a vague, overlapping series of origin stories, who exhibits modest, selfless, universalist behavior. Connected to the Torah, even these heavily edited Gospels present a confusing mess to the innocent reader. Here, Jesus blithely dismisses thousands of years of Torah law; there, he vaguely potentially reaffirms or dodges or disavows this or that piece of rabbinical tradition, in such a way that neither his words nor actions make clear that he's referring to the Torah, things he previously said that week, or to anything else on the planet. The Jesus found in the Revised Jewish Gospels is completely unlike Yahweh, yet by placing the RJGs after the Torah, any references which Jesus makes to his nameless "father" are implied to be references to Murder McTantrum in the clouds.
The Jesus of the edited Gospels directly attacks the entire Jewish world through his actions. He defies, argues with, and fosters rebellion against various racially supremacist Jewish leaders, utterly dismissing the integral genetic component of Yaldabaoth's works; he overthrows (again) the concept of usury, and its connection to temples (which will later be reverse-edited back into the "pro" position by the BRICS); and, he is ultimately martyred by a Torah-dominated society. Subsequent to that death, history (the actual STEM-approved kind!) records the martyring of large numbers of the followers of this Jesus by a joint Torah-pagan military-usurer empire.
After the RJGs come the BRICS, in which a new character is introduced: the Man in the
(If you're interested, The Protestant's Dilemma is a good modern entry in Boy-Rape philosophy, making the compelling case that the Jew-pagan military bankers who murdered Jesus and the earliest Christians, then assembled mountains of gold and jew els to shape into pretty idols to worship, are, in fact, the only true Christians.)
This is what is now broadly considered "Orthodox Christianity." It did later occur to the descendant of one of the raped and massacred German tribes that it might not be a good idea to believe the bullshit story about zombie Jesus telling Peter to establish an infallible private hedge fund that would oversee two thousand years of warfare. Unfortunately for Luther, his attempt to limit the BRICS influence on Christianity only struck from the latter end: the Torah remained attached to the Revised Jewish Gospels, the original gospels destroyed by Constantine were as yet still lost, and Dostoevsky knew only of Judeo-Islamic Christianity.
Orthodox Contradictions: The Meaning of the Onion
Dostoevsky's work is full of many wonderful reflections on sin, mercy, and forgiveness, including Ivan's dialogues with the Devil, in which the latter reveals that he knows he will one day have to ask for forgiveness and do penance himself, and Father Zosima's wish that, by praying for everyone for whom no one has ever prayed, he might save everyone who ever lives.
Why did the onion break? A lack of penance; a lack of acknowledgement of sin. The peasant woman is in the lake of fire because she failed God's last test to see if she'd gained true love and compassion for her fellow man: the onion broke because, by trying to kick others free, she was still seeing only her own desires. God, of course, programs the tensile strength for all onions in creation, and the onion parable is, like the Garden story, another of the Judeo-Islamic god's little Garden-tests. The omniscient Jehovah knows that the onion will break, because he knows that the woman will not modestly and sweetly hold on, bow her head, and pray for the strength of hand of those other sinners clinging to her--he knows, like he knew that Eve and Adam would be tempted by the serpent and eat the Apple and be thrown out of the Garden. Dostoevsky is brilliant to have gotten this; to have employed the onion in a way that so consistently matches the Torah's character.
What makes the onion parable special, though? Well, consider the guardian angel. God, in the story, knew that the woman was damned. He knew it, at the latest, at the instant of creation, when he knew all things. And he let reality play out for thousands (or billions, whatever) of years, until the peasant woman had proven, from cradle to grave, that she just hadn't gotten it--that she deserved the lake of fire. Even then, after death, the guardian angel was so good, sweet, and giving, that he tried to save her. He pleaded to God again, came up with a pretty crappy (and isolated) act of charity, and got another chance; he visited the horrors of Hell, etc. And the woman ruined it, and still the guardian angel wept for her. (Readers may notice the similarities between the guardian angel's relationship to the peasant woman and Myshkin's to Nastasya, as one of endless, self-flagellating giving. Idiots indeed.)
It's all very sweet, but the mangled mass of the Torah's plagiarization, Jewish plots for racist world domination, and self-serving gospel edits, has produced a compelling contradiction in today's pseudo-Orthodox Christianity. Namely, the holiest thing that one can do under the Bible is to go to Hell in place of another person. The old moral question of why an omniscient god would need to permit the world to run at all, in order to separate wheat from chaff, arises from the nonsensical crap that was produced when the edited gospels were conjoined to the Judeosupremacist filth of the Torah and the poison pill of Catholic orthodoxy. Lutheranism didn't save it; the Reformation removed the largest part of the worldly edifice of perversion from Christianity, but adopted all the inherent problems of "Catholicism"--the Jew-pagan bankster thugs' racket--by retaining the foundational texts which the bankers' earlier revisions had produced.
Why did the peasant woman deserve such intercession? Why does Zosima (the idealized Orthodox Christian) argue for it, and for the salvation of others? Because the infinite love and compassion of Christ, toward which the Christian is supposed to (unsuccessfully) strive, extends to those who don't deserve it. This crippling flaw in the holy orthodoxy (if you believe), this contradiction in the metaphorical narrative (if you don't believe), exists because the incomplete character of hippie-Jesus, when surgically grafted onto rabbinical Talmudism and sandwiched beneath Jew-pagan imperialism, was made wrongly saccharine.
Why did the Jew-pagan banksters crucify Jesus, and why did He allow it? If Christianity is real, He died for humankind's sins...except that He only died for the sins of those who would accept Him, except, those who have accepted Him should sacrifice and struggle and martyr themselves in hopes of bringing those who killed Him, and don't (and will never) care about Him, to His grace and salvation. The guardian angel, the Myshkin, the Zosima, the bleeding-heart liberal, should cut out his last pound of flesh and give it to the greedy Satanist, because that proves he is more like Jesus, ergo (perhaps) worthy of salvation. Dostoevsky probably understood the contradiction here, which is why all of the heartache Myshkin caused Aglaia only failed Nastasya in the end anyway--and why the onion broke.
Ideal JIC Christianity would involve praying to God that He takes you and casts you into Hell in the place of someone who deserves Hell more. "Let them enjoy paradise in my stead, as you suffered on Earth in my stead." It's easy to endure slings and arrows on Earth if you're doing so by banking on eternal paradise thereafter, while the sinners suffer in the lake of fire. If you truly believe, and if you truly want to sacrifice of yourself like Christ, then you pray to Jesus with utmost sincerity that He consigns you to Hell in order to spare someone else that suffering.
Why would sinners be expected to forgive the undeserving? Because they are themselves imperfect. That would be fine except, per the Judeo-Islamic Christian ("JIC") worldview, Yahweh knows ahead of time who will be saved and who will not, so when you try to save someone who is unwilling, you're going against the divine plan. We've long ago learned to accept these contradictions as part of, either:
JIC: "God has a plan. He's like Obama, playing eleven dimensional chess, torturing and assassinating children only because of a greater plan to stop the Rethuglicans. Therefore, blind Torah-reading and selective application of my preferred take on interpretive metaphors."
Anti-JIC Atheist: "What obvious bullshit the Bible is. Therefore, selfish material nihilism and rent-seeking."
As Calvin (and many others) have shown, Yahweh's omniscience means that the destiny is already laid out. JICs regularly rebel against this idea, coming up with reasons why free will can combine with omniscience without producing some form of predestination--but they have no textual support, only a mixture of cultural feel-goods and personal metaphor-based interpretations of the JIC Bible.
The complete gospels--the heresies that the Jew-pagan banksters tried to destroy, along with the early Christians they murdered--avoid all of this. They offer an explicable, STEM-friendly narrative, one understandable by the human mind, and one not filled with inverted interpretations, inherent contradictions, and the necessity of justifying Yahweh's juvenile mental asylum behavior. If you're someone who believes in this stuff, like, as reality, then it's pleasant to receive Christ's message free of the malevolent interference of Satan and his Pharisees. If you're someone who views all the Bible stuff as forms of metaphorical narrative or mere human cultural indicia, then viewing actual Christianity, untainted by Judeo-Islamism, can be pleasant. Suddenly, all the bad stuff you've thought about "religion" and "Christianity" can go away, or at least be understood in context, like when you read the full book of a movie Disney has previously ruined, and realize, "Wow, this was actually a really meaningful story."
(That is why it's so important that people who think of themselves as Christians eventually separate the Torah from the Gospels, and focus just on Christ, instead of on the reliable promises of the bankers who fed Christians to lions. The horrid weight of Yahweh will sink Christ's message further into obscurity unless the anchor can be detached from His ankle. If you actually believe, you have a huge responsibility to find out which of Christ's words the Pharisees and the Roman usurers tried to conceal from you, and to trust in Christ, rather than in wealthy idols, to give you the story of creation and its meaning. Joined to the Torah, "Christian" churches will continue to embarrass, continually reinventing themselves as hip Unitarianish dross. In another thousand years, at this rate, JIC marriage services between an LTC and her two human partners (underage clonecest husbands who have already adopted fifteen of their cloned selves and are planning on marrying them, too, next year) will be conducted by transsexual priests in hijabs, and only the worst sort of bigots will claim marriage wasn't always that way. *Llama to Chimpanzee Transspecies)
The Jenomic Utility of JIC Beliefs
The perfect JIC prays for sinners to be saved, works to take away the burdens of the lazy, and is endlessly sacrificing in pursuit of this goal. In a worldly sense, the perfect JIC assumes that he is too stupid to understand God's plan. It's the perfect state for a goyim to be in.
JIC orthodoxy has proven amazingly effective at driving increasing numbers of people away from Christianity. Particularly as science, time and time again, embarrasses the Torah, and as Islamism further supplants Christianity in carrying out its Judaic mission of world butchery, Christianity crumbles from the seats of worldly power. And of course, all along the way, Christianity has had to be imposed primarily by the coin and the sword. Many European peoples are now realizing that Christianity is being used to play on their emotions, causing them to spend trillions of dollars "uplifting" and proselytizing to people who don't care, forgiving unrepentant bankers and warmongers, and welcoming wolves into their very homes. Many think this is a relatively recent phenomenon spawned by "cultural Marxism."
Not so--JIC fake Orthodox Christianity was designed to be this way since before Nicaea. The attempted destruction of Europe could be said to have begun when the first Torah-adhering warbands moved in, but that's a little controversial, so forget about it and move forward. Jump to early Christianity, when a powerful pagan society began to follow Judaic monetary and slaving laws, import foreign slaves as citizen-workers to support a small banker-pampered bourgeois, and develop indirect trade and currency manipulation. This Jew-pagan empire increased its attacks on its neighbors, and after a while, Christ--either the literal rebel or the metaphorical expression of many different peoples' grievances; you decide--showed up and spoke out against usury, Torahtic genocide, the genetic caste system, etc. He and his followers were murdered, and his name was co-opted and attached to a new religion, JIC, which use the Torah's methods of total extermination and enslavement to crush free Europe and place it under the Pope and his council of boy-raping yarmulke-wearers. The most effective and complete colonization, murder, and enslavement the world has ever seen occurred in Europe, at the hands of Christians. (Not "real" Christians, if that helps anyone.)
We all know what happened next, right? All of the slaves of Europe started getting attacked by yet another form of Torah-based religion, Islam, which demolished Mediterranean trade, drove hordes of cowering slaves into the protection of feudal lords who paid licensing fees to the Pope and his cabal of child-raping priests, and brought on the Dark Ages. Pure Torah merchants spent centuries gouging un-cosmopolitan day laboring serf-trash goys; corrupt JIC Gospel homos groomed young acolytes and listened to lusty confessions in exchange for the gold of a continent; and, horny Judeo-Islamic sultans raided the coastlines in pursuit of generations of white fucktoy children.
Yeah, yeah, and after that, there was a Reformation, and some of the slaves started getting restless, and used science to build tools the more-Torah-bound couldn't build, and the invasions got thrown back a little, and some of the merchants were thrown out, and the pervert priests started to see their power slip away, albeit very slowly. And somehow, the secrets of
JIC Orthodoxy, though, had another surprise in store for Europe--a surprise called "colonialism." Not that long after Luther had begun the resistance to the JIC perversion of a continent, it became apparent that Judeo-Islam was too weak and internally disorganized to take the world. The time had come to tap the "Christians" for another genocide. The kings and queens of Europe began receiving offers of credit, foreign assistance, gold and jew els for chartering ships that would set out and explore the world, making them rich while uplifting the poor heathens by spreading the message of JIC.
We'll pick up next time with the Torah's most widely-known colonialism, followed by the Torah's recent Islamic blowback. From there, we'll move to a discussion of what remains of actual Christianity: how actual Christianity refutes the Torah, either literally or metaphorically, and how it provides a coherent, non-self-contradictory worldview that is of increased utility both were it an accurate supernatural description of existence, and were it a mere literary fantasy meant to foster better behavior from individuals and communities.